I wrote about our retrospectives already in an earlier article. In this one, I would like to write about my personal experiences of changes that your partner suggests to the meetings.
I started using the way of holding retrospectives mentioned in the referenced article. I chose the structure as a starting point. I knew that it might not be right for us and probably needs regular changes - which is totally Ok! I prepared to be the one who introduces necessary changes. I knew that I had to keep an eye on how things work out and what needs adaption.
What happened already after some retrospectives is this. My wife suggested changes that she saw as valuable to improve our weekly meetings. This should not be something surprising. Nevertheless, I was because what I introduced was pretty new to her.
One example of what she suggested and we implemented was the Gold Star. It is a gesture of gratitude or admiration for the other one. The Gold Star is something that positively stood out during the week and needs special attention. On our board we introduced a new section for the Gold Star and the two of us can give one Gold Star to the other one each week if we want to.
This is just one example of adaptions she wanted to try out. If you recognize that your partner actively participates in improving the process you know that at least something works out, that he or she accepts the way of communication and wants to give back something and make it better. Furthermore, it is just a huge satisfaction for the initiator to see that the other one cares and wants to be a part of this.
Did you make similar experiences and how does this make you feel?